He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Boobs speak an international language.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
