this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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