I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
