A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
