It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
