were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
