i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
