I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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