I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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