Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
