I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
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