i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
did you just send me my own nude
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
