Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
