wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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