I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He felt like a one man threesome
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
