So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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