My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
