Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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