But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
why didn't you poke me back
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
