are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i think im in europe. pls send help
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
