Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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