Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
