I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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