You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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