I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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