Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
