I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
