so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Enjoy the penises
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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