I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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