hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
