you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
