My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
