would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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