based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
