That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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