you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you had me at cake vodka
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
