Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
