I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
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