I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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