But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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