in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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