I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
