he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Sext me about skeletons
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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