I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
