i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
