There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
