that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
