just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
