Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
