the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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